Remembering my mom, who taught me so much about motherhood

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My beloved mom passed away 20 years ago this month. Usually, life with her in it feels like forever ago. But this year feels unexpectedly different. The memories feel fresher, more vivid — probably because I’m reminded of my mom on a daily basis now that I have a daughter of my own.

For years after my mom died, I put her on a pedestal of perfection. I blocked out the bad because it was too painful to remember and it felt disrespectful. A few years ago, one of my writing mentors asked: Did your mom ever do anything wrong?

Over time, I began writing and talking about her more authentically and came to accept her for who she was — a loving mother who, like us all, struggled and made mistakes. Unintentionally, Mom taught me to appreciate both the blemishes and beauty in life and to see perfection for what it is — unattainable.

Today I’m celebrating the mother she was and the grandmother she would have been. I know she would have loved Madelyn. 

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Celebrating Madelyn’s 1st birthday!

 

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A year ago today, our sweet Madelyn was born. In the past year, she’s grown from a baby to a strong little girl who has changed our lives for the better.

She likes playing peek-a-boo, clapping, reading, trying to walk on her own, being tickled, hiding behind her high hair, playing with keys and Tupperware, and getting ahold of things she isn’t supposed to have (i.e. our phones). She dislikes daily daycare drop offs, loud noises, and sleeping in.

I’m so grateful to be her mom. 

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Birthday girl!
Madelyn's Gramzie threw a birthday bash for her in Fort Worth. Madelyn had lots of fun and ended the day covered in pink frosting.
Proud parents!
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Troy and I had a mini celebration for Madelyn the weekend before her birthday. I covered her cake in Cheerios, which she loved. The cake ended up on the floor, after falling off her highchair table, but it was good while it lasted!
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Madelyn’s Gramzie threw her a big birthday bash in Fort Worth. Madelyn celebrated with family and ended the day covered in pink frosting.